o red sox...why must you play when i cannot watch.
o yankees...why must you put up a fight.
o cubs...why did you let the marlins take 8 runs.
o marlins...why are you still in the running.

and to foster my feminine side...

o dress... why must you cost more than my entire savings account.
o other dress... why must you cost more than my rent.
o pretty dress... why don't i have a sugardaddy to indulge such facetious fantasies.